Crafting Memorable Notes that Build Meaningful Connections
For years I have written notes to employees, friends, clients and even politicians. Some were memorable and others were trashed right after reading. As I have thought about this over the years, I have given more attention to what I am writing with these five principles.
Reflect on something that comes to mind when you consider the person you are writing the note to.
In matters of the heart, speed is rarely a virtue. Before you put pen to paper (or thumbs to text), think about what you want the person to know, what feeling you want to linger, and how you hope they will feel. It can be hard to find that time in a busy schedule, so put down on your calendar each week to consider who you would like to grace with a memorable note.
I keep a box in my desk that is filled with stationery, sticky notes, and fun cards. That makes the habit of writing thank-you notes easy and enjoyable.
Think of someone who may not be expecting a note but may need encouragement.
Take the time to express your gratitude to those who may feel taken for granted or forgotten. I met a man this week at the movie theater who shared with me, a total stranger about his family and pulled out a card with his address on it. He was moved by the movie and wanted his family and friends to see “The Forge” which was about discipleship. It was fun crafting a note to this man and his wife.
Individualize the note with details.
The best notes share details. Do not just hasten off a thank-you note, include something that prompted you to think and remember. When I send a note to specifically thank someone, I try to make it personal in how it impacted me or how they impacted another’s life for the better. It is more than writing thank-you notes, it is acknowledging success and things well done. Do it in a way that is very personal to you and personal to the person to whom you are writing. Make sure it comes from the heart.
Make it count.
When any expression of thanks has impact, it has done more than express gratitude — it educates and clarifies, illuminates, or incites passion. Offer something of value, an insight, or a piece of information. For example, when you see someone entering a difficult conversation and managing it with grace, let them know that you noticed and how you felt they oversaw the situation. This shows that you respect them and emphasize that they made the right choices.
Better late than never
Have you received a gift from someone and then forgot it until months later? It is better when it comes to your mind to write the note than not. Apologize for being belated, move on without making an excuse, and express your gratefulness. They will appreciate it and forgive you. That is even more true if the gift is not a tangible one: It can take years to fully realize the impact of a person on your life. Do not let this stop you from expressing your gratitude. Make it part of your routine to consider if there is anyone to whom you owe a thank-you note.
Thank-you notes may seem like something only for children, or for early-career employees looking to make a good impression. But the interchange that comes when we share gratitude for someone’s gift, hard work, or personal attention is at the core of building powerful relationships.
Handwritten notes help us feel connected to loved ones, friends, and acquaintances in a world that can sometimes feel contentious and trivial. In the age of email, thank-you notes are treasured reminders of the unlimited potential and power of this act of grace.
