Start Asking Game-Changing Questions
In a world where managers often struggle to coach effectively, Michael Stanier’s book The Coaching Habit, offers transformative questions to effectively coach others to success. These questions are staged to encourage deeper thinking, reveal potential, and enhance relationships through reflection and self-direction. Each question is used to guide the individual through a process of discovery, understanding, and development.
Kickoff question – What is on your mind?
This is the first question I ask in my coaching sessions with clients. Initiating the coaching process is often one of the most challenging aspects. This open-ended question breaks the ice and changes conversations toward meaningful issues that the coached is dealing with now. Rather than plunging straight into solutions or steering the conversation, it empowers the other person to take ownership. Whether the topic is about projects, people, or personal patterns, this question invites openness and sets the stage for a productive conversation.
Awe question – And what else?
The first answer is rarely the most insightful. Asking “And what else?” repeatedly is a simple and powerful tool for developing thinking and exploring another course of action. It prevents early problem-solving and encourages deeper exploration. By staying curious and listening intently, the coach creates space for the coachee to uncover issues or solutions that might otherwise go unspoken.
Focus question – What is the true challenge here for you?
It helps cut through the clutter and get to the heart of the issue. People often present surface problems or deflect responsibility to others. By adding the phrase “for you,” it personalizes the challenge and brings the conversation back to what the individual can control. “What” questions keep the discussion constructive and focused.
Foundation question – What do you want?
Clearly understanding one’s true desires can be challenging. This question creates a moment of self-analysis and encourages an honest statement of desires and thoughts. Coaches should embrace silence during this point of the conversation, as it often requires time to think. The distinction between “wants” and “needs” becomes crucial—wants are surface and immediate, while needs reveal the deeper motives and drivers behind those wants. Recognizing this difference guides a more meaningful conversation.
Lazy question – How can I help?
Contrary to what the name suggests, this question promotes intentional and encouraged help. Instead of assuming how to be helpful and jumping in unsolicited, the manager invites the other person to communicate their needs. This shifts the direction and ensures that any assistance is both welcome and effective. Responses might vary, from direct action to thoughtful delay, but the key is that support becomes a discussion rather than a presumption.
Strategic question – If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
Every “yes” carries trade-offs. This question presents the concept of strategic choice and helps individuals assess the actual cost of their commitments. It prompts consideration of time, resources, relationships, and personal habits that might need to shift. Whether letting go of outdated goals or managing others’ expectations, this question drives alignment between values and actions. It is a way to build margins and focus on what truly matters.
Learning question – What was most useful for you?
Learning does not just occur by talking or doing it, it is set through reflection. This question invites the coachee to process the experience, highlighting the key takeaways and creating new connections. Ending a conversation with this question also leaves a positive impression, elevating the identified value of the interaction. It solidifies learning and increases the likelihood that the person will carry the knowledge forward.
By integrating these seven questions, managers and coaches can shift from advice-givers to empowering leaders. The approach is based on curiosity, humility, and the idea that people often have the answers; they just need the right questions to find them.
